Somebody to Lean On
By Sandra Chin

“Make myself accountable to someone?”, “You mean lay my life like an open book to another person?”, “No way!”, “That’s unheard of!”. These might be some fearful reactions you might make when it comes yo accountability.

It’s not something new, you’ve probably been doing it already i.e. while hanging out with your soulmates and going through the “mazes” in your life. I’m sure it feels real good to have someone else hear you out! But go one step further, would you allow that someone to be your “brother’s keeper”? Someone who would help make your journey in Christ a successful one. That someone is an accountability friend.

So What’s The Deal?
    1.    Well, Romans 14:10-12 says, “...For we shall all stand before the judgement seat of Christ... So then each of us shall give account of himself to God.”??The fact is, it’s going to take place when Christ comes again, so why not start practicing now - it’s one sure way to keep your heart clear of “clutter” at all times.?
    2.    Going the solo route may cause you to end up falling flat on your face! One of the deception tools of Satan is to cause you to think that you’re okay on your own. He’s got devices that have successfully destroyed so many “strong Christians”. So don’t give him a foothold to make “minced meat” out of you.?
    3.    Many times the heart is deceitful and doesn’t want to admit the secret thoughts or desires - which when left unconfessed before God or man can lead to painful consequences.??Had President Bill Clinton made himself accountable to a close friend or spiritual leader, he could have saved himself, his family and his countrymen a load of embarrassment. (It could happen to anyone - it’s just whether you get found out or not and made a public spectacle! Either way it’s a long road to recovery and really it’s not worth wasting time and tears over.)

What to look for in an accountability friend:
    •     Someone whom you trust and respect, someone who accepts you unconditionally and will keep in confidence all that you share.?
    •     It could be your best friend, an older Christian in faith, your pastor or youth leader or even a parent!?
    •     Someone you know you’re willing to be transparent with and who will gently yet firmly speak into your life.?
    •     Definitely the same sex! (Very important!) If it’s a married couple then both should be there.?
    •     It’s not someone who replaces God in your life but someone who will direct you back to God for your ultimate direction.

Some of the things that your accountability friend might do would be:
    •     Pray for you daily

    •     Meet up with you once a week to encourage you and for you to share your heart out

    •     Ask you personal questions like...
    -    How are you managing in keeping your time with the Lord?
    -    What has the Lord been speaking to you about in your quiet time?
    -    Have you learnt anything from your Bible reading?
    -    How’s your relationship with your girlfriend/boyfriend?
    -    How’s your thought life been?

    •     Sometimes having to confront you with issues that you may not be aware of but are not uplifting for you or the people around you, like...
    -    Your dressing (ouch!)
    -    Your behaviour with the opposite sex
    -    How you handled a particular situation etc.

If at any time your accountability friend lets you down (it can happen; however, do consider that it may not entirely be your accountability friend’s fault...), don’t throw the accountability thingy out the window. Sure you’re hurt and disappointed but pray and ask God to send someone who will genuinely care for you. There are still many others who are good out there. Allow the Lord to bring that person your way. Step a little carefully the next time, slowly build your trust and soon you’re on your merry way. Like every other relationship, it takes time to build - give it a chance okay!