New research indicates that parents have far greater influence on their children’s sexual decision-making than previously thought. Apparently, what parents say does matter when it comes to preventing teen pregnancy.
Over two decades of study confirms that families - particularly parents - are important influencers of whether their teenagers become sexually active. Studies reveal that parent-child closeness is associated with reduced teen pregnancy risk. The closer teens are to their parents, the more likely they are to remain sexually abstinent.
So if you’re thinking about handing your teens a condom, don’t. You’d be better off giving them your views, your expectations, your values and your unconditional love.
“But wait a minute,” some of you are saying. “I’d be embarrassed to talk about that stuff and besides, my kid thinks he knows everything already.” Maybe not - if he’s anything like the youth surveyed by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy. Those teens said they want their parents to talk to them about sexuality issues.
If parents don’t, there are others who are all too happy to fill young minds with their own thoughts of teen sexuality. (“Don’t have sex until you’re ready. And when you do, use a condom.”) And chances are, they won’t be the views you hold.
More than two-thirds of both adults and teens say it is very important for high school students to be given a strong message from society that they abstain from sex. Yet, the government spends millions to promote the “safe sex” ideology in our schools. Without parental input, officials hand out condoms and pills to kids who them assume they’re expected to use them. Whose kid is it, anyway?
Why the family factor makes the difference.
The connection between parental involvement and reduced teen pregnancies is not just a random blip on the cultural radar. A recent study of adolescent health published in the Journal of the American Medical Association concluded that teens who felt “connected” to their parents were far less likely to initiate sex at a young age. The teen you nurture today very well may be the young adult who can resist peer pressure and hormonal pressure tomorrow.
A parent’s belief system also plays a major role in teen’s sexual behaviour. Findings are rolling in to support the notion that when parents hold strong opinions on the value of abstinence and the risks of teen sexual involvement, their children are at less risk for teen pregnancy. Good grief, you mean underneath those baggy clothes and earrings is a teen who listens to Mom and Dad? Apparently so.
What about teens who have decided not to wait? Should they be taught proper condom usage? That sounds great in theory, but the highest reported rate of consistent condom usage is about 50 percent - and that’s among adult couples with one HIV-positive individual.
Don’t miss the significance of this. Who should be more motivated to use condoms than couples with one partner infected by HIV? Yet, half of these couples did not use condoms every time. What are the chances that teens will do better? In national surverys and other large scale studies among the general population, only 5 to 17 percent report that they use condoms consistently.
Protected sex really isn’t.
Real-life statistics show that the use of condoms isn’t a guarantee against becoming pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease. And latex offers very unreliable protections against genital herpes, chlamydia and worst of all, human papillomavirus (HPV). HPV causes genital warts and most cervical cancers which kill nearly as many women each year as AIDS.
The young teenager who is told that this little latex device is safe and reliable may not know she is risking illness, fertility and even death. Why are we settling for risk reduction when we can have risk elimination?
And no condom on earth can protect a teen from the pain of a broken heart.
They claim protection. We guarantee it.
We believe our kids deserve better. By abstaining from intercourse until marriage, and then staying faithful to an uninfected partner, one can enjoy sex without negative health consequences. This i the only true “safe sex”.
Through once vilified as culturally irrelevant and unworkable for teens, abstinence does work.
True love can wait.
In fact, since 1994, more than 2.4 million teens between 15 and 19 have pledged to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. When adolescents report that they’ve made a pledge to save sex until marriage, they are more likely to delay intercourse.
You don’t need to concede the battle for your children’s sexual health to peers, popular culture and the media. You have more influence with your teens than you think. Use it. Tell them about abstinence.
Most sex ed ignores the most important sex organ: the brain.
The idea behind abstinence education is somewhat radical: kids are given credit for using their minds - not their bodies. And what are handed out in these programs are respect and relationship-building skills. How do teens respond? Enthusiastically. They themselves tell us they want to help resisting sexual pressure.
After two decades of being taught that “yes” was the expected answer, it seems apparent that today’s teens want to be empowered to say “no”. Parents, are we hearing them?
Our kids deserve a guarantee - the truth that abstinence until marriage is the only 100 percent successful way to avoid unwanted pregnancies and STDs.
The only sex that isn’t hazardous is your health.
What many spouses have suspected, researchers now have verified: married couples have the best and most satisfying sex. Not only is physical intimacy more rewarding in marriage, but enjoyment is greater if sexual expression is shared with only one partner in a lifetime. |
